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"Right Person," Not Enough Time

  • Writer: AEJIN
    AEJIN
  • Apr 23, 2021
  • 3 min read

Picture Narrative!

Like everyone you meet, she was once just a body in a passing crowd. I didn’t even remember her name or what she looked like after she first introduced herself. Little did I know, that eventually, she would become someone that I never wanted to let go.


During the long monotonous hours of trudging around the gray walls of our school, she was the reason why I kept looking forward. Looking forward to the giggling whispers in class. Looking forward to the world she painted with her kind words. And looking forward, to my once empty and bland future.


She will never know about how heavy the weight on my eyes felt on the nights I spent studying… all so I could impress her. She’ll never know how tired my ears got after re-listening to the songs she was interested in, just so we could talk about it. I wanted to understand her, because she understood me.

I’ve never had someone like her in my life.


Someone that would listen to you complain about the smallest things, make fun of you without hurting your feelings… someone that was always just there for you.


That’s what she was to me. Someone that I could turn to.


But that was it.


She was my best friend.


And I didn’t have feelings for her.


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Today is the wedding day.


I feel sick to my stomach, but I’m also feeling a mix of joy and anxiety and excitement and pain.

I can’t bring myself to skip out on this day; I mean, we spent almost 13 years together, and we both helped each other grow. Nothing bad ever happened, so I would be a jerk if I ran away from this.


Do I regret rejecting her confession back then? I’m not sure. I’m not sure because although I loved her, I didn’t love her in that way. Maybe I was being selfish, but I hadn’t developed feelings for her as fast as she did for me. I didn’t want to chain her down to my heart, because it would have just dragged her along. I asked her to give me time… give me time to learn about what it means to “like someone”... I wanted time to figure myself out.


And as frustrating as it is, she had to wait for me.


And I had all the time in the world. At least, I thought I did.


I guess I got too comfortable in our friendship, because I was never able to look past it for something more. And that’s how I still feel. Why can’t you choose to live the rest of your life with someone that you treasure? Why does it have to be a different type of love? Sure, we ended up not being “soulmates” romantically, but she feels like my missing piece. My soulmate. Even if we grew distant, she’s still someone that I love, and we understand each other better than anyone in our lives.


There’s just so many different sides to love, but everyone only ends up choosing to look for one.


During the wedding, I hide in the back when they exchange their vows, and after, I follow close behind the crowd, almost stepping on the back of their ankles as they cheer and dance around the bride and groom.


I feel myself drawn toward her, like there’s some magnet force in between us.


The crowd then parts for me like curtains revealing a scene outside a window, and I find myself at the front, hearing her melodic laughter in the breeze. Her white veil shimmers and floats around her as she walks forward. In that moment, the red velvety petals in the air flutter all around her, and a glitter bomb of white petals explode from the clouds. Time slows down and every ear can hear the drumming of my heart as she looks up at me. The world goes silent as her eyes glimmer bright and as her smile breaks through to my soul.


I will forever have this image of her in my mind, like a photo tucked away in an old book, that I wish to pick up and reminisce over after it slips out one day.


I never expected her to wait for me. I didn’t want her to.


But I would.


I would wait for her forever.



1 Σχόλιο


hgemeny
19 Μαΐ 2021

Oh no.... oh my heart. That was so good, and I've definitely felt that way in the past. Taylor you've always been so in tune with heartstrings and ahhhhh I loved reading!!!

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