The Supplemental

“5-8 images of your best work”

I started months ago;  

You ‘d think I would already have everything planned out. 

But I guess I’ve been wasting my time, 

Questioning myself. 

I’ve been beating myself up,

Over the smallest things, 

And I’ll complain to the world,

Or I’ll hold it in my journal.

I’ve been questioning if I’m making the right choices,

Because  I have this thought in the back of my mind 

That maybe I shouldn’t do this. 

Or that. 

Or anything. 

I’ve been asking for people’s opinions, 

To help me make choices,

Because I feel that I’m always wrong,

Or I could do better. 

I’ve been asking Courage to be my friend.

It seems that they are pretty busy,

But I’m the one who has been pushing them away.

The one who keeps missing them, 

As they wait for me. 

I’ve been comparing myself you see. 

How can I create things like them?

I’m not that good enough.

I’ve never had the experiences they had.

I’ve been distracting myself. 

It might make me feel better, 

if I just ignore the impending doom,

That I feel,

around the corner.

I never would have imagined following this road, 

Because I’ve always been told I’ll be left behind. 

And I’ll be breathing in the dust, trying to survive.

But there’s nothing else for me to follow. 

I think I want to do it.

I need to get into this school.

What else will I do, 

With the life I’ve lived so far?

I have to give them something extraordinary.

I need to tell my stories. 

I need to get up and work,

Work harder, 

Keep working.

But I don’t know. 

I don’t know what I’m doing. 

But I know, 

I can’t keep pushing Courage away.